#and there's another again to 90
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when i was a teenager, i didn't think i'd live to be 20. when i was 20, i didn't think i'd make it to 25. when i was 25, i promised myself that i wouldn't let me make it to 30.
now i'm 30! and i'm looking forward to many more decades because i'm finally happy. i don't always like the changes my body goes through as i get older, but i do not miss my 20s even a little bit. your life doesn't end at 30. sometimes that's where it begins.
the older i get and the closer i am to reaching 30, the more the people around me try to deny me my age. it’s a constant ‘oh you’re just turning 29 again teehee 🤭’ or ‘dont tell your SO that, he’ll leave you for a younger model 😉’ and i just???? hate it?????????
i spent my entire teenaged years fighting for my life. i crawled through the deepest pits of my depression to cling to the promise of a life beyond that pain. i was so convinced that i was going to die young, that i would never see the grace of my age starting with a 2, let alone 3.
so im going to turn 30, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from loving it.
#i have an entire second lifetime before i make it to 60#how well will i remember the pain of my teenage years by then?#and there's another again to 90#i may not make it that far because i'm not the healthiest guy#but several of my great grandparents made it there and all but one of my grandparents is still alive#grandma passed only a year ago in her mid 80s#i have so so much life to look forward to#and no matter how bad it gets i now have first-hand experience knowing that it can and will get better#happiness isn't what i thought it would be but it's still so good#and it doesn't mean all my mental health problems are gone#it just means they don't make me want to kill myself#i haven't had a suicidal thought it something like two years and it still shocks me
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psych has a lot of really funny running gags but i think my favorites are the ones that turn into an off screen b plot for a specific character that you pick up better if you binge a bunch of episodes in a row. netflix show from before netflix existed
bonus points if it’s somehow related to the actor’s filmography. bonus bonus points if it’s another batshit character trait of burton guster or carlton lassiter. bonus bonus bonus points if it’s something james roday rodriguez made up on the spot that stuck around
#psych#you know. lassiter assassinating squirrels. shawn crushing on firemen. henry bagging every legendary 80s-90s actress that guest stars#juliet having an increasingly nutso family backstory all played by famous actors is a personal favorite#that or when gus will just suddenly have another insane dulé hill talent with like zero explanation as to why#and it never shows up again
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the debate continues (pt 1) but kurama gets called in
bonus under the cut (ft hiei):
gay people
#can you tell i'm much more used to drawing hiei and kurama? lol. i just love their hair sm like.. mwah#anyway idek if this is funny but here's more of it ig#also i just typed 90s yaoi cover into google so i know nothing about that image or its source material so like. open to fun facts ig#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kuwameshi#kazuma kuwabara#kurama#shuichi minamino#hiei#anyway kuwameshi bi4bi moment and i think about the discovery of that a lot. also yusuke's nb to me so im picturing another side of this#where yusuke's like oh man... maybe i AM the girl??? but for gender reasons and not like. relationship dynamic or uke/seme reasons or whatv#also poor kuwabara. that's not going to help you very much i think. he's gonna believe in the yaoi hole :(#skrunkart#thinking about how kurama uses telepathy when he's first introduced and kind of never again after that?? anyway that's what going on in tha#hiei extra fyi#kuwabara kazuma#minamino shuichi#idkkkkk#hoorayy anyway so like. yusuke and kuwabara here like each other so much but don't know what that makes them (bi in this case) bc of the#past interest in girls. like they both have been into girls but they feel so strongly about each other they can't just ignore it. so they'r#like shit i guess we're gay now. and that doesnt fit right but what else could it be? and also they have like zero accurate knowledge of#queer people and queerness. very 'completely trusts an am i gay quiz' moment to me#they don't know where to look besides yaoi and that's Not For Them so that doesn't work. confusing times for kuwameshi i spose#plus kuwabara spirit sensitivity = gaydar in this case#a little tiny tiny kurahi in there. to me :)
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Last line challenge
Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like.)
Sorry I took my time to answer xo Thanks for tagging me @just-here-with-my-thoughts <3 <3 <3
Actually I can't show much cause all my wips are for fanzines or commissions but!
I can show you a hint of what I'm actually doing for @devinsisland apocalyptic AU zine hehe
Very sketchy 'cause some of theses were just ideas exploration I ended up throwing (they'll be cleaned and posted on social for bonus later probably)
Also follow the zine here: https://www.instagram.com/aftermathzine https://x.com/AFTERMATHzine
(not me changing a tag into a promo post xD)
I don't really know who to tag, always scared of bothering, so I'm gonna try hhhh @lightspringrain (I'm the worst, I'm tagging while you're on break so Hm, no pressure) @wrenkenstein (hello I love your art and your whole vibe apparently we're mutuals so *flies away*) @clownery-and-fuckery @electrikworm
@scarletv0id (Please ignore if you don't wanna) And mutual who see this post but I'm too shy to tag!
#last line challenge#thanks for tagging me again#this forces me to post so this tumblr doesn't die while I'm in 10+ fanzines XO#I wish I had fic illustration to show but alas no time to xo#I need to redo a whole portfolio for job hunting#I'm so bad at it#I should do more social media stuff#have an insta and linkedin#post a lot#do other stuff than fanartsss#are you looking for a storyboard artist? well I exist!#a reason I don't is that I know my former classmates will see me and be like#"haha this b* who was first in class never made it cheh to her#or be glad I failed (I deserved to fail)#*sigh*#on another note#A friend invited me to see her thrilled but I need to travel in a new country and this stresses me very muchhhhh#especially with my disastrous English#I wish I wasn't 90% of my life paralyzed by fear#ok ANYWAY
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ok well im ebegging again
hi. i once again have bills coming up (need to send them to my dad by end of day on aug6th...) and they are kind of bad this time. i was hospitalized for a period of time this month because i had sepsis which quite literally fucked up my ability to make money... before the hospitalization because i was too sick to work (due to the unknown sepsis. lol) and then after it as well because (without going into too much detail) they had to cut into me to fix it and the wound is in an area that makes walking for too long hurt.
also because of the hospitaliztion i have become overdrafted in my bank account, only adding to the amount i need for bills. along with that my car has been in desperate need of an oil change since april, i am getting calls from debt collectors again, and i owe a bunch of different people money... all of which to say im fucked!
i always end up getting really sick after i start having to grind for bills and its hitting me early this time, which just makes everything harder... (i'm already going out and doordashing despite having to limp half the time because of fucked up ankles) i dont like going out and working while im sick, especially since i work with food, but the closer bills are coming the more im having to
literally anything helps if you are able. i also have commissions open if you want to get something out of it. if $15 is too high dm me and i will draw something for you for less. if we add up all the debts i owe its over $1,000 but the most pressing and important is $534.03 so that's all i'll ask for...
cash/app is $irismews ven/mo is @ irismews dm me for my paypal
0 / 534.03
i will include proof of bills and stuff under the cut if you find it necessary
#i dont like doing this but the sepsis fucked me up so badly oTL#i have been doordashing for like a week or something and still only have this much because the money i make keeps going to gas 😭#i was originally overdrafted by like $250...#one day this will all be over and i'll never have to beg for money again...#oh you know what i just remmebered my cars registration has also been out of date since february lmao which is another 90 dollars. well
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giffing every pokemon episode, pt. 1
#another self-imposed challenge that’s ultimately just for me to have fun with? maybe#watching this again gave me allll the memories of watching this in the early 2000s with my little brothers :’)#pokemon#pokemon gif#pokemon indigo league#indigo league#pkmn#pikachu#pikachu gif#ash ketchum#anime#anime gifs#90s anime#nostalgia#epkmnep#mine
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pros: Adam Brody being a hot rabbi, Kristen Bell and Adam Brody having great chemistry, Timothy Simmons causally stealing each scene he’s in, seeing Tovah Feldshuh in another show!
cons: your brother is a rabbi and you don’t know what havdalah is?? Tovah Feldshuh’s Russian accent, incredibly cringey dialogue about interfaith relationships (they’re possible!!!! they work!!!!), why is every Jewish woman on this show written like that??????? dude?!!!
#Rachel in real life#oh my god there are blonde Jewish women they exist they’re my cousins#once again another show where the ‘cool non Jewish other woman’ is blonde#guys….#felt like a lot of the attitude about interfaith relationships came from the 90s#other than that at least we have a hot rabbi on screen#nobody wants this
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Happy Pride month everyone B*) Allow me to reveal a little behind the scenes detail behind my Banner and Icon. Love was always winning <3
#I don't know what to tag this one to be honest#probably a#delete later#I have made a solemn promise that any icon and banner for this blog must be done in a pair. They Cannot Be Separated.#They have had too much of that already#But yes; they have always been together on the same canvas#they originally were just barley not holding hands so I fixed it <3 love wins#I'm hoping to change them out every new season I start so these guys are probably in their last month of life B'*)#can you believe wwx used to have different bangs? blasphemy#Once again throwing out meta content so I can make up for the fact I am running on fumes#starting out pride month by engaging in another sin (sloth (I slept for more than my usual 4-5 hours (this blog functions on insomnia)))#comic tomorrow cause the next batch is 90% done I literally just ran out of time.#I'm in a toxic relationship with The Grind but in a homoromantic/erotic way.#We (the grind and I) would have long metas written about how we are bad lgbtq rep and spark heated debate within the community.
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"Whatever it is you two have, I wanna see it cured!"
#stevie richards#blue meanie#ecw#extreme championship wrestling#90s#pro wrestling#my gifs#my edits#oh yeah I got photoshop again#temporarily#last gif why did he hug him like that tbh#also captioning with another mean joey styles quote bc he hates them so bad and for no reason
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start to finish
It only took me 292 days :D
(bec I'm a procrastinator)
Ah I missed my pencils ngl
#This took me so long I#got out of college#finished a telenovela#started another one#got into therapy#finished therapy#finished the other telenovela#got diagnosed with autism#got diagnosed with ocd#painted my nails 90+ times#didn't got into college#got into college again#started another therapy#got insomnia back#got rid of my insomnia#started college#got insomnia another time#started another nelenovela#got dengue fever#got diagnosed with adhd#STOPPED BEING A TEEN SOB#what a crazy year#and forgive my abilities with the camera#my art#long time no see tag#my oc#OH AND I FINALLY GAVE HER A NAME#My abilities changed a lot during this year so I redid a ton of things#I did disappear bec of college
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(the winchester boys try to ‘save’ goth!reader from their perfect lover);*!
(what the hell! stop trying to chop my boyfriends head off while he's professing his love!);*!
#supernatural#supernatural x reader#yippee I'm watching supernatural again#peter steele sucks but is good vamp bf representation#and Mick n his wife are so cute I just had to#platonic supernatural x reader#goth!reader#i was thinking more 90s mall goth but it didn't translate the best#so just goth#dean winchester#sam winchester#these are fun#moodboard#supernatural moodboard#vamp bf tryna kiss you and they assume he's going for the neck n just Strat swinging#start swinging I'm not rewriting that#ugh this with someone their super close to#like another hunter#goth hunter x vamp bf ugh need it#this is a lot of tags#my bad
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My mom & I had lunch with my grandma & her friends today & watching them still going out together, having fun, talking shit & reminiscing about old days made me really excited to grow old
#one of them was 90!!!!#and she was still driving her car never had an accident & ever since her husband died#she’s been taking herself on dates & just having fun#I hope I have the privilege to turn 90 & still go out with my friends for lunch#I also took a shot with one of them because no one else would & she was so happy she invited me to join them again next week#so we can drink another shot together hahahah#nana news 🗞️
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Well.
#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter#First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out#(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in#The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover 🥺🥺#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawa–#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the world–#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground 😂😂😂 Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic#“Wow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!” *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him#That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin#That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment#(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it#But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles#Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers
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Well, bad news ;-; I have to go to the hospital... Like, not just visit it, stay in it. Bed and flavorless food and checkups and all. ;-;
Hopefully tomorrow, can't be today unfortunately.
#personal#health#looooove it that as soon as my mental health started to improve my physical one-#-fell apart at the seams#when it is not one thing it's another#hilariously enough I prefer physical pain over mental one#I can't describe it well#but like..#to not have to focus on my grudges and want to kill myself 90% of the time is great#knowing my luck sooner or later I'll lose peace of mind again#some asshole will wreck my life out of grudge or envy or wish to prove themselves#but hell if I am not enjoying the calm before the storm!
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nasu can squeeze in every fsn bitch under the sun into every damn fate property he makes but somehow can’t put a SINGLE NON EGYPTIAN AFRICAN SERVANT IN ANYTHING???? NOT EVEN YASUKE??? Y’KNOW ONE OF ODA NOBUNAGA’S RETAINERS???
#I love fsn as much as the next guy but come on#then again this also means I get to avoid typical fate bs being applied to my folk heroes and mythology I#but like#if it’s that or pretending the rest of Africa doesn’t fucking exist I’d take that#Africa being erased in 90% of big media outside of Egypt is a real problem that I am super fucking tired of#so getting SOMETHING in one ot the biggest franchises in the world would probably help with that!#but noooo#lets go to Britain again#or India! but we better not make any ot the Indians actually brown#what about Sakura let’s make another sakuraface#fgo#fate#fsn#fsr#fate extra#fate extella#damn near every fate property y’all catch my drift
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#I thought abt submitting this to that do you like this vg song blog but submissions won't open again for another month#and I'm impatient for people who've never heard it before to listen now! it's so lovely! also does anyone else hear#''he stood there and asked me why. but all I could do was cry'' (also a lot of popeye arcade in there)#nintendo#gameboy#game & watch gallery#video games#90s#audio#music
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